Short Fiction
Although my short fiction and articles have taken something of a back seat over the years, I've had a number of pieces published in places such as Wet Ink, The Big Issue, Allnighter (Cardigan Press), Verandah, Paranormal magazine (UK) and Flash Fiction (UK). Below is a piece that was published a number of years ago in Wet Ink.
Cute for a Tulip
Ya see me tooth, me front one here, the one’s that’s been missing for years? God took it out in the middle of devotions. Was praying, had me eyes closed. God’s honest tooth, that’s me joke I get to tell. Ain’t many jokes in the Bible. Samson had riddles but there ain’t many jokes. Dead-set, God pulled it, with pliers.
Wanna know what happened? What’s gonna happen? Be a good girl, drink this up and I’ll tell ya. It smells
shit, looks shit, like this goddamn van. But start drinking. Stop yelling. Gets ya nowhere.
Now that corner down the end is where ya sleep if it’s raining or if it gets too cold. Don’t get used to it. It is
not yours. Ya start expecting it, I’ll slam ya, promise. See this? It’s slack. It’s there for a reason, the leash ain’t ever coming off. It gets ya to your shit-hole and your spot beneath the van. I got new blankets since Tulip
left.
Drink. That’s it. Like it’s a wedding or something.
Ya start cleaning this place first thing in the morning. Put things wherever ya like. But when I call ya for something you better know where it is, pay attention or pay the price.
Food here’s not much. I’m no chef meself, so whatever it takes to get it down. Tulip made this shit. I dunno what is. Spam mixed with Spam mixed with Spam.
Mostly got ya for ya looks. Don’t mind saying. Kinda cute for a Tulip, bloody oath. It starts like this. With the joke, with the drink. Reach the bottom, then there’s one more thing.
See the axe out there? I got a pile chopped up. Make ya a fire some nights if ya want. Be just out of reach but it’ll be something to watch. Company, Tulip called it. Cry if ya like. She cried sometimes but had the sense to keep it down. Don’t wanna make me feel bad, besides, there’s pigs out there. Ya get gored, it’s your own damn fault.
Look at this now, not even half-way done. Ya should be drinking like ya want the answers. Or clues to escape. It’s your wedding night, Tulip. Big mouthful, swallow fast.
See, this is what happened. I saw ya. I slammed ya. Then I brought ya up here meself. Five days so far, but in a couple of years, like Tulip, ya won’t wanna leave. When I said she left what I really meant was that I never had no choice. She got lazy, she got… damn it, God hates a liar. She gave me the shits. Ya see the axe?
I led her down the valley. She was singing our song. She refused to see it coming. I said: Sunday school’s over, love, but ya ain’t ever going home.
God’s honest tooth. How ya going with that? Ya made it to the bottom of the cup. Ya feel right in the head, it’s just your body don’t work. I swear ya can’t even piss yourself. Go on. Have a go. Move that arm if ya can. A hand. That finger. You’re frozen. But I can still see ya trying. There’s a glint in your eye. That’s
panic. Now… devotions.
Samson had a wedding. Says it right here in Judges. He was stirred by the Spirit of the Lord. And then he just went ape. He bashed thirty men. Killed them cause he wanted their clothes. No hiding for Samson in
the bush in some van. It’s true he was dumb as a fuck. He had one simple plan—smash a whole lot of shit.
God enjoys watching violence, like all of us.
Them eyes dry, Tulip? Ya been staring poor love. Won’t take blinking for granted in a hurry. Any movement that is. That smile of yours. Got me pliers right here in me pocket.
It is our wedding. Gotta give me a present. First we pray, then I teach ya that song. Ya wanna close your eyes but then ya won’t see me coming. Just one good grip like God.
Cute for a Tulip
Ya see me tooth, me front one here, the one’s that’s been missing for years? God took it out in the middle of devotions. Was praying, had me eyes closed. God’s honest tooth, that’s me joke I get to tell. Ain’t many jokes in the Bible. Samson had riddles but there ain’t many jokes. Dead-set, God pulled it, with pliers.
Wanna know what happened? What’s gonna happen? Be a good girl, drink this up and I’ll tell ya. It smells
shit, looks shit, like this goddamn van. But start drinking. Stop yelling. Gets ya nowhere.
Now that corner down the end is where ya sleep if it’s raining or if it gets too cold. Don’t get used to it. It is
not yours. Ya start expecting it, I’ll slam ya, promise. See this? It’s slack. It’s there for a reason, the leash ain’t ever coming off. It gets ya to your shit-hole and your spot beneath the van. I got new blankets since Tulip
left.
Drink. That’s it. Like it’s a wedding or something.
Ya start cleaning this place first thing in the morning. Put things wherever ya like. But when I call ya for something you better know where it is, pay attention or pay the price.
Food here’s not much. I’m no chef meself, so whatever it takes to get it down. Tulip made this shit. I dunno what is. Spam mixed with Spam mixed with Spam.
Mostly got ya for ya looks. Don’t mind saying. Kinda cute for a Tulip, bloody oath. It starts like this. With the joke, with the drink. Reach the bottom, then there’s one more thing.
See the axe out there? I got a pile chopped up. Make ya a fire some nights if ya want. Be just out of reach but it’ll be something to watch. Company, Tulip called it. Cry if ya like. She cried sometimes but had the sense to keep it down. Don’t wanna make me feel bad, besides, there’s pigs out there. Ya get gored, it’s your own damn fault.
Look at this now, not even half-way done. Ya should be drinking like ya want the answers. Or clues to escape. It’s your wedding night, Tulip. Big mouthful, swallow fast.
See, this is what happened. I saw ya. I slammed ya. Then I brought ya up here meself. Five days so far, but in a couple of years, like Tulip, ya won’t wanna leave. When I said she left what I really meant was that I never had no choice. She got lazy, she got… damn it, God hates a liar. She gave me the shits. Ya see the axe?
I led her down the valley. She was singing our song. She refused to see it coming. I said: Sunday school’s over, love, but ya ain’t ever going home.
God’s honest tooth. How ya going with that? Ya made it to the bottom of the cup. Ya feel right in the head, it’s just your body don’t work. I swear ya can’t even piss yourself. Go on. Have a go. Move that arm if ya can. A hand. That finger. You’re frozen. But I can still see ya trying. There’s a glint in your eye. That’s
panic. Now… devotions.
Samson had a wedding. Says it right here in Judges. He was stirred by the Spirit of the Lord. And then he just went ape. He bashed thirty men. Killed them cause he wanted their clothes. No hiding for Samson in
the bush in some van. It’s true he was dumb as a fuck. He had one simple plan—smash a whole lot of shit.
God enjoys watching violence, like all of us.
Them eyes dry, Tulip? Ya been staring poor love. Won’t take blinking for granted in a hurry. Any movement that is. That smile of yours. Got me pliers right here in me pocket.
It is our wedding. Gotta give me a present. First we pray, then I teach ya that song. Ya wanna close your eyes but then ya won’t see me coming. Just one good grip like God.
